A letter from Jesse about his infidelity throughout our marriage

9.23.2024

Heather,

I am going to lay out everything from the beginning, exactly what happened to the best of my memory.

I amwriting to you with aheavy heart and a deep sense of regret for al of my actions over our entire relationship. Iwant to sincerely apologize for being unfaithful and for the pain and hurt I have caused you.

I understand that my actions have repeatedly broken the trust between us, and Iam truly sorry for the betraval. There are no excuses for my actions, and I take full responsibility. I want you to know that I am committed to making amends and rebuilding the trust and love we once shared.

lam deeply remorseful for the hurt Ihave caused you, a n dlam willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. I understand that no matter what I do I may not be forgiven and I accept that.

Please know that I love you deeply and that Iam committed to our relationship.

I have been trying to do alot of soul-searching lately and trying to find out why I have done what I have done, time and time again. With no change, no stop, no pause even though I have something perfect at home with you. I have so many things to work on and clearly, my therapist is not working for me. I am going to tell you about all the girls in a way of being honest, laying everything on the table, my computer and phone will always be unlocked for you so you have access to read and look at anything at any time.

If this works to establish a baseline of 'trust' that is what I intend. I also understand if you never want to speak to me again.

In regards to the kids and the house. No matter what happens between you and me I don't want the kids moving, I want them to grow up in that home and for you to live there as well. I will do everything I can to continue to pay for that home and provide stability in Jackson, Stella, and your life.

Amy

This was the Laguna Beach girl who was the bar manager at Hennessys in Laguna Beach. Before you and I met, I met her when we were having a show and went back the next day to hang out on her shift. We ended up going on a date and I immediately knew she was not the one. I told her this and she suggested being friends with benefits. I did that with her multiple times and her house in Laguna Beach while I was still living at home. When you and I met, Amy and I tapered off. While we were dating, I am sure I had sex with her but once you and I had sex, it did stop for good with her. There were never any more intimate actions. The condoms you found in my car were for when I was having sex with her but were not used after you and I had our first sexual experience. We still kept in touch and texted one another but not flirtatiously, I told her about you and she said she was happy for me, which I knew she wasn’t. One day after I was working at the mail place in San Clemente, I was driving home through Laguna and went to go have lunch at the restaurant she was working at (El Ranchito in Laguna). I think around this time I either told you I had lunch with her or you found out and that was cut off moving forward.

Kayla?

This was the girl Iwas messaging who looked 'sexy' with her pictures on Facebook and who I went up to visit when Iwas ni Monterey for McClure's wedding. We had had sex once or twice back in 2009/2010~ and kept ni contact. I met her for coffee at a coffee shop for about 20 minutes. We talked and nothing flirty but we did meet up. She did not look good and Ididn't have any intention of doing anything with her.

Amanda

She was a college fling from Sacramento who I had kept in touch with. After meeting with Kayla in Monterey Iwent over to see Allison who was working at the Aquarium. She gave me a tour around thefacilityandthenwehadlunchatsomelocalrestaurantoverthere. We had always had a flirty relationship but were both in separate relationships at the time we met. During the meeting and during the time you and I were together I do not believe anything inappropriate was said to her. This is approximately the time when I changed my number.

Gretchen

We met early on at 24seven. She came to OC office several days a week. She started wanting to talk and vent a lot about her manager Tammy who she absolutely hated. Iwas her 'shoulder to cry on! W e started talking more and more and getting to know one another. She was extremely flirtatious and put more effort into it than I did but Iaccepted it all and continued with it and didn't shut it down. I typically made my lunch every day but would go with people to get their lunch as a way to get out of the office. I walked over to the sandwich spot across the street from the old office and while we were waiting for her lunch I had my arm kind of leaning on the table holding me up, I am not sure how this came up but she was talking about messing around with her brothers and annoying them and she said she would put her boobs on them and she put her boobs on my leaned arm for a second. She was clothed but did do that. They were laid over my forearm/elbow area for asecond. I didn't say that was inappropriate but just laughed. We continued to flirt in the office. One time it was a partial holiday and she was in Santa Monica and I was in the office with Marc. We were flirting over chat and then she ended up sending me a picture of her butt in her underwear. I looked at it, showed Marc, and then deleted it. She would tell me a lot about her parties at the Playboy mansion and would show me pictures, typically these were bikini pictures of her with celebrities and all of this was on her public Instagram profile. Iwas attracted to her physically and fantasized but was not attracted to her emotionally. I thought she was a little too much for what I would ever be into. We never had any physical interaction (kissing/sex other than the breasts on my arm at the sandwich shop.

Cheryl

As you know she was extremely talkative about her promiscuity and I generally thought she was funny. I don't know exactly how we started talking but she would bring up her sexual encounters pretty freely and I would engage. Often sharing similar stories of years before and sexual triumphs and a ton of dirty jokes. There was an equal amount of flirting back and forth. Since she had connections she got a parking spot down below and I would accompany her a lot to go to pick up lunches. On several occasions, she said she had to run home to let the dogs out. I went with her and went inside her house, got a tour saw her house and her parent's house (right next door). I willfully walked through her house and met her mom and younger sister at one point. There was an Electric Six concert at the Observatory that Brian wanted to go to and then Cheryl wanted to go at the last minute. Brian and Ipicked her up and I took them to the show. After we went to the Wild Goose and they took my keys and ran away wanting me to stay but I know I had to go and I did. I think a lot of the time with her it was freely back and forth, we never talked about running away together and there were never any sexual interactions with her (no kissing/no sexual encounters). I fantasized about encounters with her but never pulled the trigger. When she painted vivid details about her past encounters it painted a picture in my mind as well. She left 24seven to work with her parents company and Isaw her a time after that on a half day at 24seven. She had let Catherine borrow a dress and she came to pick it up and me and her had lunch or just a drink at Billy's at the beach. We walked back to the office and gave each other a big hug and she said "I love you." I did not respond to her.

On the day of Heather Franco's sons birthday in CDM you saw messages or texting on the phone record. I wrote her an email that night from my personal email saying I have to stop talking to you in the best interest of my family. She never responded and a week or so later I was at Happy Hour with Marc and Brian and maybe Tim at the wild goose in the outside patio and I saw her pull in the parking lot from 17th street but then just kept driving. That was the last time I saw her. Brian let me know that she came into Lily's shop in Westside Costa Mesa a couple of years ago and that she was a total bitch to the employees.

Renee

This was the HR girl at Skillz. There was never any interest with me to her. We were friendly and that was it. Imade jokes always above the line, never anything sexual ever with her. She was part of hiring or processing a lot of the candidates and team I was managing at the end of the tenure there. I met her one time when we had a HR happy hour with Casey in Hollywood one time. She always wanted to have a farewell happy hour with her and Rachel Nguyen, one of the Senior HR Business Partners who we worked with almost daily on Aarki. Renee recently reached out to me on 8/26 said here is below:

Renee: Rachel and Iwere just chatting about you and hope you are doing well.

Me: Hey Renee. Been doing great. Cant believe its been 2 years.

Renee: It's wild. and Rachel and Iare still here lol with the craziness.

Me: That's amazing. Good for you two though. You must be the longest tenured people. Has ti turned positively though

Renee: Well, Rachel is HOP at Aarki.. which Ithink you knew.. I'm still at Skill. Idk about positively, but Caseys last day as an FTE was Friday...and Andrew has been in NY starting his new business so he pops in

and out virtually sometimes. Sooo it's different. How about you? Are you running the whole department now?

Me: Wait whaaaaat

Me: Holy shit lol. Those are some insane changes.

Me: Ya mi head of AT now for North America which si cool. Report to the CPO but my team isn't huge. 4 people under me. Good people. Super busy right now have 45 open FTE headcount.

Renee: Yeay lol Iguess some things have changed. Well that's great to hear! Do you guys still have a branch out in Vegas? I think I told you, but I moved for Skill &

Tues 8/27

Renee: Nice! Well that's exciting, so Itake ti you guys are expanding out here? Living here is pretty good except when its 120 degrees lol

Me: lol ive heard and more money in yourpocket. Yes we are growing out there. So much going on in vegas

Renee: I mean, yeah a little more in my pocket. Hows Life?? How's your family? So weird we havnt talked in so long. If you ever take a business trip out here let m e know! W e can meet up for the good bye drinks we were supposed to have two years ago lol

Me: Didn't respond to the above

There was nothing ever here or between us ever. I don't consider anything flirting with her ever. It was always light hearted and mainly talk about how crazy work was.

Rachel

Different Rachel from above her name was Rachel Wallen. She was always drama and something going on ni her life, we were ni the same kind of spot at the same time with both of our managers leaving at Skillz, she was on the Tech Recruiting team. She vented to me a lot, I met her 2 times in person. One was at the HR happy hourwith Casey, another was with a TA happy hour in Venice/Hermosa which Bien put together. There wasn't any flirting that I recall but she did confide ni me a lot about her BF who lived in Philadelphia because he wanted her to move there and she didn't want to leave the West Coast. I think she was pretty interested in me but Iwas not in her. She was fun to talk to, and could hold a conversation well but was not of interest to me in any sense. We hugged one time at the end of the Venice happy hour as I was leaving to come home. Her boyfriend was there and I met him as well.

Tanyn

She was the first person that I interviewed with in person at Mobilitie in person and we hit it off well. Once hired we didn't really interact much outside of required work calls for about the first year. When Naomi signed us up to go to Workday Rising ni SF that is when we started talking more during the planning of our trip and hotel/etc. She has always been friendly and quick-witted although very pessimistic about work/life etc. When we were in SF we did most things together like Dinner, and happy hour, and we went to the The Killers concert together during workday rising. tI was a fun time and enjoyable. We talked a lot about out-of-work topics like our relationships etc and that is when things started to take a turn. I began flirting with her and it was more me than her. I enjoyed her company and the interest I received and Iwas trying to 'Woo' her. We started venting about each others spouses and things we didn't like or that could be better. This is where I talked poorly on you to her and she did the same about her spouse. We became each others vent session and would grab coffee together in office or go outside to a shared patio to have coffee out there and talk more freely. I would consistently make dirty jokes which were inappropriate and usually witty but still not appropriate to say to anyone. I had fun with these conversations and it was filling a void elsewhere. I would sometimes tag along with her and other group at lunch, or do a group happy hour here or there at Kalveras which that big expense was from. As the alcohol flowed there was more and more inappropriate conversations. This occurred from sometime. To me, most of the conversations were a fun and positive conversation with nothing bad behind it, maybe a dirty joke but not egregious, not always talking about inappropriate items. Even some of the jokes like 'butt pumpkin' came from a funny place but looking into from the outside without context is not good and then what I said after was worse. She had told me she did pilates and I thought it would be fun to go and try it as I was looking to supplement my workouts so Isigned up for an intro class in Villa Park, the studio she goes to. I signed up and bought a set number of classes and started going. I told her about my experience and what I liked and didn't like, she told me good classes to go to and good instructors to take. About 6 classes or so in I suggested we take a class together as she takes classes every day but at night, I said I can never do that because of family commitments. We ended up scheduling a day to go together on 8/27 during the lunch hour. We didn't talk at all during the class and sat somewhat across from each other. After the class was done Iwalked with her to ralphs where Iwas looking for an iced coffee pre mixed drink and she was looking for Pepto Bismal. We met up a second time and sat on reformers next to each other during class and after class was done I walked with her to Dunkin Donuts where she got an iced coffee. Nothing has ever happened between us physically, no kissing and no sex of any kind. I think the most we have done is a hug goodbye at a group happy hour. I have never been over to any of her houses (old one in the circle or new one by Peters canvon). Most of the conversations I have had with her have been friendly and professional but most of the jokes were dirty. She never said no and so I kept going with the jokes. Double entendre and more There was absolutely flirtatious behavior between both of us. I reached out to her on 9.23 via teams to set up some time to talk about the events that have unfolded. We walked outside where I apologized to her for everything I had said to her and we have agreed to not talk to each other unless needed for a work-related question only.

Me.

I'm selfish. I always want to feel loved and validated I need that and I crave that. I put all of my feelings before others. One of my strengths is WOO (Winning Others Over) and Ilike to be able to do that it almost feels like a challenge. For me it is more about the hunt or the chase than the prize. In all

of these situations ti is the same Iget ti going to a place and ti takes the wrong turn but I never act on it because I am too much of a pussy to go through with anything. In my mind it was ok because it’s not cheating but I know it is. Its emotional cheating and reckless and complete distrust of who I think I am to the world and to you and the family more than anything. It feels good to have this validation that I still have 'it' or am good enough with my words to be interested in me. This isn't a you thing, you are perfect, I find you extremely attractive and think you look better now than ever. I could be with anyone and I would keep doing this repetitive behavior. It’s not that I am not in love with you, it’s that I crave it from everyone to validate how great I am. I go searching for this because I am desperate for attention ard validation.

When it comes to me putting others first and you are second you are right. I would shut down if you tell me no one time. Ive asked a lot of times to go to coffee when we are both working from home orlunch or whatever but stopped asking because you said no several times. It was easier for me to go to drinks or lunch with someone who said yes to me instead of working to woo you. I stopped dating you and had you, the challenge was over and then when these things happen I try really hard and it's a challenge again so I do better. And then I get you and rinse and repeat. I've said it before and I will say it again. I want to make it work and change and actually be a good person who you trust. Regardless of what happens and it there is an us in the future In eed to be the best version of me and this is not it. I know I don't deserve you in this state. I used to love all the things we did, I loved spending time with you, hanging out watching movies, sitting on the top of your roof, Catalina golf trip for my birthday. You have blessed me with so many beautiful memories, beautiful children, and much more.

I don't know how to get better but my current therapist isn't doing it and it doesn't keep me from throwing away everything with you and the kids. It’s not about the sex or thinking with my dick, its about craving attention and filling a void I have.

I love dating you and you are super fun to be with. Nothing of this is because of you.

I need to not separate my hobbies from things you would do. I would love to go shooting with you, hiking, walking, working out, maybe even the driving range, and more. But I have been lazy and have not put in the effort to woo you. I don't want to keep saying the same thing to you and repeating behavior, I want to make actual changes, I don't want to be like this, I want to feel proud of who I am and who I am with you as well. I need to get myself help and not sure where to start. I'm not just mad you read my messages and got caught, I'm living a lie and a double life and Iam not proud about any of this

Things I can commit to immediately and implement is becoming sober completely. Alcohol never makes my judgment better. Ilove having adrink or even at times alot of them but I will stop immediately and go to some AA classes as well. Find a therapy to specifically work on personality disorders or to actually change my behavior. Finding someone online off Alma just a general therapist wont do it

I know even if I change everything in my life it might not be enough, and I'l still fall well short of what you deserve. I’m sorry for being shitty to you from the start, breaking your heart and pissing you off. I don't give you credit enough for what you have done and where you have gotten us.

I'm also really sorry for running your birthday which was supposed to be really special and I have tarnished that again

I have a lot of work to do on me, substantial and fundamental personality changes. If you are ever open to in-person therapy (not Anne) | would welcome the opportunity to go together to work on us.

(We spent the last year of our marriage in therapy together)

I love you so much and I am so sorry I have done everything to you.